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Week 19: Why Do I Quit?
The outro cover song by Raphiel Shannon
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-O7clFBPFmM
Since the beginning of this week series I have been making these videos first and foremost for myself. A preservation of the past to enable a better future is what I say. This video is by far my most potent example of that phrase.
I recorded this interview in a hotel room at 3 am in the morning on March 1st. I was very emotional and I am lucky to have captured my thoughts in that moment. You can see in my eyes and hear in my voice how tired I am, I had just gotten off a 12 hour day.
Two weeks later, as I sit here and write this, my thoughts are not the same. I see the world though different eyes. I am not the same person. Even though it has only been 14 days I have learned a great deal both about relationships and about myself as a human being. I am seeing for the first time mistakes I have made and characteristics that I never took the time to acknowledge that I exhibited.
I feel very good right now. Not in a complacent or a dopamine rush way but a living in the moment feeling that I rarely have. The last time I had this feeling was when I was sitting on a train in Japan this past fall. Today I road my bike around in circles while I talked on the phone and it felt incredible! Maybe it's that LA spring sun!
Thank you all for the support and love, I know I disappear for a while between videos. I am at 4,993 subscribers as I write this! Man, last year on March 14 I was at 300. I do believe that the comment section on my videos contains the most genuine people on this site. Something I didn't know existed when I started, so thank you for that!
Thank you for all the love! I will keep changing, I hope you will too!
Spencer
Shot on Sony A7rii with Canon nFD lenses.
Week 18: I Am Becoming A Flake
Over Christmas I found myself getting overly frustrated when someone would cancel on me or go awol. I started to write a video about it and I realized that I was being frustrated by characteristics in others that I myself exhibited in the past and specifically, in 2016.
I then thought about making a resolutions video but that didn't feel natural because I'm not one for change because it's 1/1/20XX . So I made the following video! A video expressing my current thoughts.
Watching this video is a very good example of where my mind and thoughts are right now. Thoughts about Los Angeles and the people in it.
Making this video helped me to see the fault in my life. A fault I could easily see in others but never took the time to look for in myself.
Spencer
Week 16: The Formula Isn't Working
Making videos has never been this hard. I am pushing myself to make more because I miss the feeling of creating and I am at a time of my life where much is changing that I care to document.
This is a video to hopefully jumpstart a creative fall.
Thank you for watching.