Week 19: Why Do I Quit?


The outro cover song by Raphiel Shannon

Since the beginning of this week series I have been making these videos first and foremost for myself. A preservation of the past to enable a better future is what I say. This video is by far my most potent example of that phrase.

I recorded this interview in a hotel room at 3 am in the morning on March 1st. I was very emotional and I am lucky to have captured my thoughts in that moment. You can see in my eyes and hear in my voice how tired I am, I had just gotten off a 12 hour day.

Two weeks later, as I sit here and write this, my thoughts are not the same. I see the world though different eyes. I am not the same person. Even though it has only been 14 days I have learned a great deal both about relationships and about myself as a human being. I am seeing for the first time mistakes I have made and characteristics that I never took the time to acknowledge that I exhibited.

I feel very good right now. Not in a complacent or a dopamine rush way but a living in the moment feeling that I rarely have. The last time I had this feeling was when I was sitting on a train in Japan this past fall. Today I road my bike around in circles while I talked on the phone and it felt incredible! Maybe it's that LA spring sun!

Thank you all for the support and love, I know I disappear for a while between videos. I am at 4,993 subscribers as I write this! Man, last year on March 14 I was at 300. I do believe that the comment section on my videos contains the most genuine people on this site. Something I didn't know existed when I started, so thank you for that!

Thank you for all the love! I will keep changing, I hope you will too!


Shot on Sony A7rii with Canon nFD lenses.